Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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