we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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