The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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