hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
