what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
