DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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