I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Congratulations! We have a period
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize