On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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