Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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