She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
