omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
