I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My feet surprised me
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