Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
