Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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