Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I lost the right to judge tonight
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
