If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
