worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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