Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
