so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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