I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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