he wants to bone in the snuggie
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
