meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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