I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
