do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I forget how to act sober
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
