From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
