somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
id be glad to
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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