It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im holly from the hills drunk
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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