I'm drive I can fine osifer
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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