Me. At least after what I've been through.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
