so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
