Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
