I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize