some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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