Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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