Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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