i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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