I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she told me i tasted like america
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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