I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
