Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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