This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
