Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
