I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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