I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
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I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
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Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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