if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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