he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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