I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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