So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
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I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
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the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize