I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
