Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize