i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
