when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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