He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that