Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well