ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
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Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?