can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.