is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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