Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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