You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
