she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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